The clicking of the passing of time seems even louder now that I am a mother, watching it unfold in full 3d and technicolor every time I look at my daughter and realize she is yet another inch taller, or by doing a quick scan through the pictures on my phone and noticing how much she has changed in a year. Have I changed that much, just in different ways?
I have tried in vain to slow down the constant reminder by living in a way that matters to ME. Sucking up every ounce of her babyhood and girlhood I can get. By smelling her hair often enough that I won’t forget what its fragrance is when she is old enough to care that her mom likes to sniff her hair. I cuddle her in my lap enough to notice that her legs are getting a bit too long for her to comfortably settle in like she used to, and take her in adventures so I can watch her delight unfold with a brightness and passion that only happens when you experience things for the first time.
Time is a constant bully, pushing me to go faster than I want this time to be, making me beg for more, knowing how quickly the sand is dripping in the hour glass, but it has some sweetness to it. The sweetness of knowing that the getting to know this beautiful little girl requires me to move forward with her. So I am thankful for that chance, and will take all the time in world I am granted.
This lovely video, made by THE DICTIONARY OF OBSCURE SORROWS , which is a site with videos of invented words written by John Koenig, captures both, the magic of childhood and how time weighs on us all.