I am 10 years older than my brother and my sister, so I witnessed from a very young age how resourceful little kids are at getting in trouble. And after working with kids for over 20 years, and now, watching our little one become a toddler, the surprises just keep coming. We love it that our kids are creative, interested, experimental and playful, but those things do come with a challenging side for the parents, so I decided I should share some of the things to watch out for:
– When you can’t find your keys or phone anywhere else, try the toilet bowl or inside the turtle tank.
– Superglue can be used to glue together the most surprising body parts, as demonstrated to me by my brother, who glued his eye shut and by a 3 year old who glued his finger to the inside of his nose.
– Beans and beads can be successfully inserted inside noses and ears but not as easily removed.
– Kids who never put things in their mouths will decide to try it for the first time with something that is either sharp, poisonous or covered in bodily fluids, so don’t assume they won’t.
– No matter how small they are, little kids manage to use up two thirds of a queen size mattress when they come to your bed.
– No matter how convincing kids are when they tell you that they don’t have to pee before you go out.. they are lying. You will figure that out while underground on the subway (where there are no restrooms), after paying for and boarding the train that took forever to get there, but 15 seconds after you manage to sit down (and no, they can’t wait until you get there).
– The dish you prepare for your child that requires you to go hunting for the right ingredients which will be incredibly expensive, and that has a prep and cooking time of 3 hours or more is the dish your child will either refuse to try or make faces at after barely trying it. Yet they will make their own cheese, catsup and jelly sandwich and eat it happily.
– The most expensive gift your child begs you to buy at the store will only be interesting until you get home. Then it will be forgotten forever. They will play with the wrapping paper and ribbon instead.
– Kids don’t believe you when you tell them that the bubble gum flavored chapstick or the candy smelling playdough or crayons are not for eating.
– Kids have a “mom has a deadline for tomorrow and needs some time to focus on work” radar. It triggers a part of their brains that tells them to make sure mom doesn’t have a moment of peace and that it’s time to unleash all of the spills, bathroom accidents and vomiting they haven’t had in a year and skip their naps.
– Sharpies are weapons of evil in the hands of a toddler. Most “washable” markers are not really washable.
– Children can cut a large chunk of the top of their hair even with kid safe scissors that aren’t sharp enough to cut through tissue paper.
– Kids don’t know that you shouldn’t pour expensive perfume all over your body. Did that myself at the age of 4, then poured baby powder on top of my perfume soaked body because I thought it was a good way to keep mosquitoes away in the summer. It worked, but kept people, other children and dogs away as well.
– If you buy them a toy with a favorite theme 2 months before Christmas, they will be totally over it when Christmas actually comes.
– Quiet kids are very, very dangerous kids.
How about you? What would you warn other parents about?